


Grown up

by Descaladumidera



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Children, Gen, Grown Up, Helplessness, War, Wine, black and white film
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6297637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Descaladumidera/pseuds/Descaladumidera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Children don't fight in wars, so they're grown ups and do grown-up-things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grown up

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the characters nor the places and all that belongs to the world of Harry Potter is mine. The rights belong to JKR. I don't own money with this fanfiction.
> 
> A/N: If there are any mistakes, please tell me! English isn't my first language and I would highly appreciate it if you'd tell me, what I did wrong. :)

They're sitting on their couch, each of them a glass of wine in their hands—he doesn't even know, where they got the right glasses for this—, because it's grown up to drink wine. Only children and teenagers drink butterbeer. In front of them, on the table, are some hors d'oeuvre—remnants of their meal the previous evening with their friends. And that's grown up, too, because only children and teenagers eat crisps and popcorn.

They don't say a thing while the muggle TV is flickering and playing back an old black and white film. They could watch one of the new films or series but it's grown up to watch an old black and white film. Only children and teenagers watch cartoons and the newest American series. But they're all grown up and do grown-up-things, like drinking wine and eating hors d'oeuvre and watching old black and white films.

His eyes wander to his friend, whose idle glance is fixed on the TV and who's circling his glass in his hand. His other hand holds a stuffed olive since what feels like an hour, but his friend didn't as much as glance at it, and he asks himself if he should get himself another hors d'oeuvre, too. He's hungry, but he doesn't want this high-society-food. He wants fish and chips and he wants it to be so greasy, that he has to lick his fingers afterwards. He wants to drink butterbeer or firewhiskey and he wants to watch one of these Disney films and maybe cry about the death of Bambi's mother and to care about nothing in this world.

But he knows life doesn't work this way and because of that, he doesn't say a thing and takes another sip out of his glass, the wine bitter on his tongue but he forces himself to swallow it nonetheless. Because grown ups don't complain about these things, only children and teenagers do.

His thoughts are pathetic and he knows it but he can't bring himself to look at these things another way, because all is fucked up and slips through his fingers. He doesn't know, when it all began to go south but he knows it is that way. And he knows, it could be fine but life gives him the middle finger and screams ‘Fuck you!’ and he can't do anything about it. He can't help his friends, who struggle with becoming parents far too young, he can't help his other friend, who is underestimated by everyone and has to fight for his place again and again, he can't help his friend, who's sitting next to him and has to fight his inner demons month and month again, and he can't even help himself. And he feels so lost.

He tries to suppress his thoughts and to concentrate on the film, his glass in his hand and something weird tasting in his mouth. He doesn't even know what it is. And he could wash it down with the wine but he knows, it would only get worse, but he does it nonetheless, because he's all grown up and he can do this.

And Sirius thinks, it's truly grown up sitting here with Remus, drinking wine, eating hors d'oeuvre and watching an old black and white film, although he would rather be a child. But children don't fight in wars and because of this, he is grown up. Even if he's only twenty and his best friends have just become parents and the whole world is crumbling to pieces and he just wants to rant and rave and curl up in Remus' arms and cry. But grown ups don't rant and rave and cry—only children and teenagers do.

 


End file.
